24 August 2011
So, here we are, scantily-clad, on a desert island in the middle of the Riau Archipelago, having spent a few days in hot, fast, efficient Singapore with my lovely cousin and her family. Teeny tiny colourful cotton shorts are all the rage in SIN and the willowy girls all look fantastic and elegant, actually, with their long, slim legs. I’m tempted to buy a load too, but, hey I live in London, and there’s not much call for that kind of thing there.
But here on this island of barefoot luxury, I fish out from my suitcase the teeny tiny white cotton/linen shorts I bought from Boden (no sniggering please) many years ago and have never ever worn. They are a Boden size 10, which, as we all know, means nearer an 8 really. And what do you know? They fit. Perfectly. First time. Without a struggle. What’s more: I can breathe and move in them. The flies do not undo themselves surreptitiously. This, to me, is proof enough of the power of the Slendertone Bottom Shorts.
What is my honest opinion of the Slendertone Bottom Shorts? For that, dear Reader, dear Slendertone, is what you would expect me to give, is it not? I love them. I think they work. As with any strenuous, rigorous muscle-toning exercise they’re going to work, aren’t they? The advantage of the Slendertone Bottom shorts is that one can work one’s muscles whilst lying (not relaxing, exactly, CLENCH, OW, CLENCH, OW, CLENCH OW,) on the bed at home whilst blogging or whatever. My bottom is now more pert and firm and I started noticing a difference after less than a couple of weeks. Yesterday I even wore a bikini AND NOTHING ELSE for the first time in 26 years. No-one looked embarrassed.
The effects last only as long as the exercise is maintained, however, as with any muscle toning programme, and I am interested in how long my bottom will stay firm and pert now that I have finished the 30 day Challenge. I found that the effects of the Slendertone Face took some months to reverse after I stopped using that so I am hoping that I can just use the the Slendertones as a firming top-up solution before a holiday or big event. It’s just a question of organisation and regular commitment for a few weeks.
Be warned, though, and Slendertone does make this clear: the Slendertone Bottom Shorts will NOT somehow magically disperse fat or make you lose weight. The Shorts fit only those who are already sizes 6 to 14, so they are not going to work miracles if you are larger than that. And no, silly woman overheard justifying herself to her clearly long-suffering husband on the John Lewis escalators the other day, contrary to your delusion, (“It’s not fat, it’s flab. They’re different,”) fat and flab are exactly the same thing!
The Shorts will electrically stimulate your muscles to work and tone themselves to a more pleasing shape if used correctly. To my mind, “used correctly” means at a high setting, from 75 upwards. If you cannot feel the pulse, it’s not going to work, ladies, and it’s only going to work if you commit yourself to the program which means up to 30 minutes on alternate days for a few weeks.
Placement of the shorts and gel pads is quite simple if you refer to the instructions. The gel pads, being much larger than the Slendertone Face gel pads, are a lot less fiddly, and will last at least as long as the 30 day recommended programme, although I experienced some degradation to one. More pads can be ordered online through Slendertone or Boots but they are not cheap. Less expensive, however, than a session with a personal trainer, and certainly less than bottom uplift surgery or whatever they call it. All in all, it’s a hit with me.
The Slendertone Bottom Shorts are available from Slendertone or Boots and cost £139.99.
*This series requested by Slendertone, who kindly sent me the Slendertone Bottom Shorts for trial*