The Slendertone Bottom Shorts Journal #4

Monday 25th July 2011 – Day 10 of the 30 day Slendertone Shorts Challenge

Right, well, I’ve been busy today. Up early, I have shepherded offspring and their French penfriend through breakfast with the lark and to the local youth orchestra course. I have cleared the kitchen, washed, ironed, made coffee for my bathroom fitting gurus and attempted to guide my dog onto a filmset to cadge a role in a Tim Burton movie. Without success. I have shopped and cooked and chauffeured and debated. I am exhausted.

Time for a sit down and a relax, you chorus. Why not have a bath with luxurious essential oils? No, of course not, for I must again don those ultra high fashion Slendertone Bottom Shorts, gird my loins and spend just short of half an hour having my buttocks and upper thighs clenched to high heaven on the Advanced setting. Reading the instruction booklet, I am told that “A gentle signal is transmitted through the pads to the sciatic nerve and its branches.” Gentle, my derrière!

Why the torture, you question? Well, as the French have it, “pour être belle, il faut souffrir.” Yes, I must suffer but at least I’m doing it lying down on my excellent and very comfortable bed, surrounded by Egyptian cotton sheets and holiday guidebooks. It will be worth it, when I’m on a beach on a secluded private island somewhere in Asia. Buns of steel they shall be, fantastic in my new swimsuits. Yes.


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